Do you ever find yourself living your life based on the expectations and desires of others? It’s something I hear almost every day in my practice so don’t worry you are not alone. It is the human condition to be hard wired to seek approval. This is just our mammal instinct, part of our DNA, everybody has a deep unconscious need to belong. Although It's natural to seek validation from others, why is it that some people are way more impacted and driven by this “disease to please????”.
Well, my friends that is a great question and although I believe I have figured out some of the answers, that’s not the most important thing you need to know. The important thing is to learn is how to let go of those opinions, so you can live an authentic life as your very best self.
Living to please others can surface a multitude of problems. It often strangles your personal growth and self-expression. When you constantly mold yourself to the expectations of others, you often find yourself neglecting your own dreams, your passions, and your desires. You can become a reflection of other people's wishes and lose touch with your authentic self. Often, This results in a deep sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction. You are not truly living a life that resonates with your core being.
I have heard multiple times that if you don’t create a vision and a plan for yourself, then you will end up living someone else's vison and my friends as a recovering people pleaser, I must say, never were more truer words spoken.
Living for others often leads to a perpetual cycle of seeking validation. You become dependent on the approval and acceptance of others, making your self-worth contingent on external factors. The worst thing about this is that if you live for the acceptance of others, then you will die by their judgement. My friends this is an Anxiety creating, super shitty way to live. It’s exhausting and disheartening to say the least. You are constantly striving to meet unrealistic expectations. Seeking to satisfy others, you will often sacrifice your own happiness and well-being because you are prioritizing their needs.
In contrast, making your own way and treading your own path has many advantages and rewards. Embracing your individuality and pursuing your own dreams allows you to discover your true passions and talents. It opens the doors to self-discovery and personal fulfillment, leading to a life rich with purpose and meaning. When you align your actions with your own values and aspirations, you experience a deep sense of authenticity and joy that cannot be replicated by living for others.
Creating your own unique life also empowers you to take control of your destiny. Instead of being swept along by the expectations of others, you become the author of your own story. You have the freedom to make choices that align with your own vision and ambitions. This autonomy allows you to navigate life with confidence and resilience, even in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Forging your own path also encourages personal growth and self-confidence. When you step outside your comfort zone and embrace new experiences, you develop valuable skills, broaden your perspective, and build resilience. Each step you take towards your own goals brings a sense of achievement and self-empowerment. You become the architect of your own success, rather than merely seeking the validation of others.
Living your own life does not mean completely disregarding the opinions and feelings of those around you. It means finding a balance between honoring your own desires and maintaining healthy relationships with others. It means making decisions that align with your values while still considering the impact on your loved ones.
There are many pitfalls when you live solely to please others, from sacrificing personal growth to perpetually seeking validation. I recommend, creating your own unique life because it brings so many advantages. It allows you to discover your true self, pursue your passions, and take control of your own destiny. Embracing your individuality and treading your own path leads to a life filled with authenticity, fulfillment, and personal empowerment.
So, dare to live your own life and unlock the limitless potential that lies within you.
Sam XXX